HALLY FLAMIN' LOOYAH!
WELL, wasn't the X-Factor just tremendous? Isn't it great to see that song "Hallelujah" selling copies faster than they can press them? Well, no, actually.
I'm sure it is utterly fantastic for Simon Cowell; he stands to make a stash of cash, that's for sure. But to hear the Leonard Cohen classic – and I use "classic" in the real sense of the word – mangled into a hysterical, warbling, chirruping Mariah Beyonce Carey mishmash is painful beyond words.
What we are witnessing, ladies and gentlemen, is not a rising star who can make more pitch changes per minute than a car alarm, but rather the death throes of exciting, innovative live music.
Do you really think that gigantic talents like Jimi Hendrix, Eric Clapton, David Bowie, The Who, Pink Floyd – indeed, even The Beatles or The Rolling Stones - would ever pass an X Factor audition?
Which is why Simon Cowell's catchphrase of "You took that song and made it your own." is just another way of saying the song is pilfered.
So, what we have is a bunch of hand-me-down, stolen songs turned into a money-making machine, with the young, gullible fans paying a fortune on their mobile phone bills to make it happen.
And that is a sad thing indeed.
I have seen many young bands (real bands, that is) right here in West Lothian who have a massive talent for song writing and musicianship, allied with a steely determination that would put the SAS to shame.
However, they will no doubt end up having careers in call centres and fast food joints. Despite a huge talent and spending endless hours honing their craft and practising their scales it will all be to no avail.
Why? Because they don't fit into the X-factor mould.
So, on behalf of all real musicians everywhere, it's three big "Xs" and two fingers to the X-Factor. Hallelujah, indeed.
IT'S A CRACKER
NO decent jokes in your Christmas cracker? Then how about this one?
"I was wondering why the football kept getting bigger and bigger. Then it hit me."
SALES PATTER
WELL, whad'ya know? According to the news, retailers reported a third week's bumper Christmas shopping spree, with High Streets and shopping malls bulging with shoppers and exceeding expectations.
Oh, really! Isn't this the story we hear EVERY year? Retail giants are concerned that this year's Christmas – credit crunch or not - will be their worst ever, just as they were concerned that last year would be the worst ever, and the one before that, and the one before that!
But it never is, is it? And I'm willing to bet my tinsel-tinted credit card and bauble-bedecked wallet that you will hear exactly the same complaints that they are finding it hard to make ends meet NEXT year!
Email to a friend
Print this page
Looking for...
Featured advertisers
Jobs
Search for a job
Motors
Search for a car
Property
Search for a house
Weather for Bathgate
Friday 18 May 2012
Today
Light rain
Temperature: 6 C to 7 C
Wind Speed: 18 mph
Wind direction: North east
Tomorrow
Light rain
Temperature: 5 C to 9 C
Wind Speed: 17 mph
Wind direction: North east
